Total Randomness
by Rudlando
Summary: In which Tiffiggy  tiffany  lives in Britain and all sorts of...well you'll see!  Warning, CRACK.


Lets have fun..  
>(This title is misleading, I swear)<p>

It was cold in the Britians house..It always was.

He didn't turn the heat on because he was scared it would "Ruin his eyebrows" like they where ment to be perfect or something and you damn well know who 'he' is don't you?  
>England.<br>That's right, Tiffiggy has been trapped in his homosexual house ever since the day she had been born...But it had its upsides, I'm sure..  
>what do you mean, no?<br>Well yes, but that doesn't mean... oh whatever..  
>Well anyway, It was a bright and rainy day down in Britian, the sun wasn't shinning and the sky was nice and cloudy, the usual.<br>All the Prodestants and Catholics gazed into the cloudy tortured sky towards what they called 'God' and repented for some reason or other whilst Tiffiggy was wishing it wasn't sunday, England doesn't cook if hes at work, but weekends...well you know where I'm going with this.  
>So after a long time killing herself with a fork, the food had been swallowed with as much lquid possible to demolish the taste, needless to say England didn't seem to mind-he was too busy fending off random vists from France and his son...uh I don't remember his name, further more he was just busy okay? Okay. Now that we have esablished that link and correlated it's exsisting counterlink, I'd like to get on with the story a bit more, right...so as I was saying, England...Tiffiggy...blablah, got it? Well you better, It's going to be a long time before your eyes leave this page!<p>

"England.." Tiffiggy sqauked, he voice growing hoarse. She had just finished her day out in the rain and her dog needed feeding—I uh mean she needed feeding.. of course she likes his food, what are you judging me!  
>"Yes, what is it?" As 'El Eyebrows' waltzed into the living room that I should have mentioned they where in earlier, he took his time in talking to the wet, carpet-ruining figure that was standing before him and she had just given him a innocent smile, god dammit-she's up to something!<br>"Can I have..." she spoke, smiling timidly.  
>I knew it!<br>"...some scones?" ..wait, that was unexpected..well to England any way, we already know this plot and I, your fellow narrator is just adding some sort of emotion, as you do.  
>"S-scones, but I thought you hated my cooking!"<br>"Not at all, ho-honestly where do you g-get these ideas!"  
>Tiffiggy had this all planned out now, just a fake chuckle to seal the deal and-<br>"No can do, I'm not cooking today"  
>No...No, It cant be.<br>S-since when Iggy, since when!  
>"W-what, why?"<br>"I'm visting Russia today with France, He says something about the world becoming one as a union or something, sounds...well we just need to check it out you see."  
>"So you'll be back late"<br>"We'll see"  
>...Tiffiggy watched the man leave with a top hat and a umbrella, of course he'd be back late—he said become one, ah!<p>

Well, that was one part of her sight she'd never get back, not that see needs it, England's leacturing goes on about anything even her walking!  
>(Talk about snobby, geez) Needless to say her eyes couldn't of guided her more saftly to..the kitchen.<br>It may be England's kitchen but as long as he's not cooking the actual food, this is a place of worship.  
>He had...<br>Everything!  
>Ice cream, chocolate, milkshakes even pudding!<br>This was a day Tiffiggy has triumped...  
>Well that was until Japan had knocked on the door.<p>

"Just a minute!" she yelled, he hands needed washing, so in the meantime lets see what Japan is doing..

...It's cold...

Okay nevermind, oh look, Tiffiggy is finished now.  
>As she opens the door to see the burning sight that blinds her further.<p>

He and Japan where...  
>Snuggling!<br>"E-england are you drunk?" she stuttered franticly for a awnser.  
>"What no, Russia doesn't let us touch his vodka, oh this Is my boyfriend, Japan.."<p>

"Tiffiggy?"  
>Nothing.<br>"Tiffiggy, whats wrong?"  
>Ah, there it is, the short small fall of her figure tumbling over in disqust, well they dont know that, but that doesn't make her homophobic or anything, this just...wasn't ...expected..<p>

As Tiffiggy slowly awoke, the sight of Japan snapped her eyes open.  
>"Are tou feeling alright, Tiffany-chan?"<br>of course she wasn't, that was the point of passing out!  
>But she lied anyway..<br>"Of course, sorry I was just tired from previously..."  
>"You don't need to say sorry-"<br>BANG  
>"W-what was that?"<br>Well, as your narrator, I'm obviously going to tell you, Right?  
>Wrong.<br>"You don't need to know, Japan"  
>"B-but!"<br>"Listen, this plot...that doesn't exsit...is well, just messed up"  
>"Plot? What do you mean plot?"<br>"England, don't join in-"  
>"ITS LIKE A JAPANESE ANIME!"<br>"Japan, NOW IS NOT THE TIME"  
>As the trio tried to explain nothing, the knock on the door that was the bang from previously had made itself known by actually breaking the door down.<br>"MIEN GOTT. You people need to learn to open your damn doors, I swear"  
>"GERMANY!" everyone screeched at his sudden arrival<br>"Oh so thats what it was.."  
>"Yes, I tried to warn you-"<br>"You did nothing of the sort, Tiffiggy!"  
>"I must agree with Arthur-san.."<br>"...moving on, Germany why are you here?"  
>Germany glanced around franticly<br>"S-shes gone.."  
>"who's gone, Germany-san?"<br>"Herr stick"  
>"NAAAAAAAAIIII" Japan shouted, he obviously wasn't concerned at this sudden plot twist.<br>"OH NAI. EVERYONE! QUICK!" ...not at all..

THE END.

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><p><span>Authors notes<span>

Uhhm...well I made this ages ago...for a friend of mines to cheer her up...but I never got a chance to show her...so I just posted it here.


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